Most classical music, without the sweeping grandeur of helicopter-view camera pans or moving black-and-white slo-mo scenes, sound like elevator music.
Maybe I’m a boor. Maybe I don’t have a tuning fork in my ear. Maybe I’m part of the generation spoiled by movies. But I just can’t seem to be moved by classical compositions without visual imagery to assist me.
Mozart (–) Visuals = Kenny G
I think the movies have a large part to play in making our senses lazy. Another huge influencer is the cheese factor.
My first association, when I hear a pastoral Mozart tune is not picturesque meadows in spring, it’s being put on hold by the Citibank operator. Hotel lobbies. Restaurants. Subways. Muzak has had a profound influence in fencing away that part of the brain that appreciates the magic of music. That, and Yanni.
The hirsute Michael Bolton of classical music may be old news in the music industry but in Asia he’s accorded a place alongside other immortals like Richard Clayderman, Enigma, Paul Mauriat and other aficionados of “Music To The People”
While I’m on the subject, can somebody tell me why wedding video guys have a fascination with the instrumental version of Europe’s ‘Final Countdown’? Invariably, it’s played during the part when the guests serve themselves from the buffet table. It’s hugely popular at awards functions as well.
EXCERPT FROM AWARDS CEREMONY SCRIPT
Skank Female Presenter: “Laydeees and gennelmen, please gif a roun’ of applause to the winnah for ‘Best Salesman Of The Year – North Division’ …..Atul KHANNA!”
Music cue: Final Countdown played as a beaming Atul Khanna takes the steps. Atul Khanna’s wife has a tear in her eye.
As a member of the audience who has been exposed to Eighties music, I’m half expecting to see a big-haired, spandex-wearing man with a painted face leap on to the stage. Instead, all I see is a pot-bellied salesman.
But maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
5 comments:
hey you forgot the indiana jones soundtrack, the james bond, pink panther and superman themes...
Yanni is an intergalactic courtesan skilled in the arts of seduction and subterfuge. He is, in short, an incredibly devious space whore hell-bent on sexualizing agamic Reticulans. Never mention him again.
That's some crazy shit you been smokin Bubba. But since you feel so strongly about it, you have my word. No more posts about Yanni. Swear on God. Wouldn't want the Reticulans to lose their sex shaman.
Great post by the way. Mozart minus visuals equals Kenny G. Ha ha ha. Apt and subversive. Final Countdown is a masturbation theme, usually builds up to a mammoth whale-spout orgasm. Thought you'd want to know.
Tokyo it is, then, Kickah. Maybe you can show me around.
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