Rumbling Esscitement In The Room

Know what would be a great idea? Ever seen construction sites before they put in the concrete piles? When its just rubble and there’s heavy earth-moving equipment clearing the place. I was just passing by one such place the other day when it struck me – this would be fun. Why don’t they let in the general public to use their big machines on sites under construction? I’ll bet there are others like me who’d just love to try it on the weekends, or maybe right after work. They have to make no further investment, for one. Just let other people have fun too, while their proper drivers are having a breather.

I know there are some holes in my proposal. Safety concerns, for one. But it can’t be that difficult to learn how to operate one of those machines. I mean, come on, it’s not like it’s an aircraft carrier or anything. There’s just meters and basic levers. Half an hour with the instructions manual should do it. Hell, even Christopher Moltisanti drove one after Tony’d taught him. This after he’d injected himself with a near-fatal dose of heroin.

In related news, the Singapore Government is spending S$ 2 billion on proposed tourism projects this year. Taking a big chunk of that budget is a giant Ferris Wheel, shamelessly copying their erstwhile colonial masters. It’s imaginatively called The Singapore Flyer. The moment you sit in it, its going to take 45 minutes to take you to the top and another 45 to bring you back down. Can you feel that bone-jarring adrenaline rush?

A Conversation at Singapore Govt HQ

Official 1: Wau lah… that Malaysia very high-class one you don't know meh? Always put ad in Manchester game lor.

Official 2: We are doomed…then go and kill ourselves. Aiyoh, damn chik ak

Official 3: Aiyoh don’ say like dat lah

Official 1: Then how?

Official 2: We fight…we also build ah… wha you say?

Everybody: Can!

Official 3: How about anudder mall?

Official 1: Canno make it leh…we got mall orreddy…tourists all very hard to please, one. They all ai pee, ai chee, ai tua liap nee*.

Official 2: Then how?

Official 1: I know… a Ferris Wheel…wau just like Engrand… I wen once that ride was too essciting for me oreddy…

(Rumbling esscitement in the room)

Everybody: Can! Makaan oreddy?

Official 1: Where you wan’ go? French fry and hambugger at Macnoner, can?

* * * *

(*Beautiful Teochew saying which literally translates as ' Want cheap, want pretty, want big breasts!' It is used to describe someone who wants the earth.)