Where Would We Be Without Justin Timberlake?

Justin Timberlake says he is “..bringing sexy back”. Whew! I’m so relieved. We don’t have to live in an unsexy world anymore. What would we do without philanthropists like Mr. Timberlake?

I imagine, years from now, some well-meaning soul might chronicle this selfless act thus:

“It was a bleak September that year in 2006. It had been a few decades since the world had anything that could be qualified as a ‘sexy’ experience. The streets were empty except for one lone figure. Justin huddled into his torn chocolate colored overcoat and kept walking into the bitter cold wind. His light brown hair was shining. He had pawned his parents’ DVD player a few hours ago and had been looking for a dealer to supply him with a pair of shiny black pants. His hands shook and he kept wringing them and cracking his knuckles, trying anything to keep them busy. Justin didn’t notice though, he was barely aware of his own body. So out of it he’d forgotten he hadn’t eaten in three days. He was a pariah. A dangerous fugitive. A man who wanted to bring sexy back. The police hunted him down. Able-bodied men organized witchhunts. His gut twisted and protested, but he ignored it. The only thing on his mind was his message, his mission.

The wind suddenly died and the dog’s howls faded with it. Tendrils of mist were creeping out of alleys and slowly filling the streets. Justin Timberlake swallowed hard, images from all the horror movies he’d seen flashing into his head. He tried to shake off his fear but failed. The thickening fog quickly hid the black top; he could feel it pushing against his skin through his shiny black pants. It was even colder than the winter air around him, making goose-bumps form all over his body.

That’s when he decided, he had to do it. It was just him left. What would happen to the hapless destitutes in the porn industry? The forlorn creatures who sold massage oils and whips? What about poor Mr.Hefner?

He grabbed that microphone, and announced to the world at large on that fateful September day, that he was back baby. And he ain’t comin empty-handed. Watch out world.