Brick, please

Valentine’s Day is a disease that afflicts stupid, unimaginative people who can think up no other means of expressing emotion than to purchase mass-produced cards and stuffed toys. And don’t even bring up the age thing here. I was a teenager once, you know. But I wasn’t braindead. Just thinking of how much press and money this stupid festival generates every year makes me want to vomit. I’m not really with the Fascists who throw stones at shops but if there’s anyone out there looking for a brick to hurl through an Archies Store window, I’ll only be too happy to hand it to him. What is it? Maybe it’s some sort of strange reverse-Darwinian phenomena to ensure weaker, dumber gene pool degenerates. What surprises me is that there’s so many of them. I’ve seen grown men buy overpriced bouquets and stuffed toys like their lives depended on it. People take leave for Valentine’s Day. Fuck me, what sort of manager accepts that leave application? And I’ve noticed the further out into the hinterland you go, the greater the obsession is. I had to sign some papers at my CA’s office today and it happened to be in some godforsaken wasteland called Sohna Road. The malls en route seemed to be decked with this pink effluence. I think it’s some weird bhenji/ vern fixation. It’s the Bhenji’s first step towards ‘English sophistication’, so to speak. She’s already got the fake Adidas jacket and the Hello Kitty backpack. She probably watches Roadies on MTV (one of the most tasteless and annoying TV reality shows ever invented). So Feb 14 is natural progression. Not to get classist or anything. I mean Bhenji is probably too broad a term and I apologise to any intelligent Bhenjis I may have included. But you know what I mean. I merely use the term Bhenji because ‘thick, socially challenged cretins’ was a bit of a mouthful. So if you see any Raj Thackaray or Sri Ram Nene hoodlums trashing lovers with stuffed hearts, please don’t report it. Walk away. They deserve it.