Lucknow Bound

It’s not often that I visit the idyllic paradise that is Uttar Pradesh. The most profitable activity there nowadays being kidnapping, second only to raping and pillaging coming a close third. So it is with a mixture of dread and anticipation that I set foot on the aircraft to Lucknow today. Some people (read as American tourists) like to think of small-town India as ‘quaint’ and ‘sleepy’ and ‘picturesque’. Me, I beg to differ. Small towns I can handle. Mercara, Hassan, Cochin. As for small towns in the North, however, I would recommend large scale obliteration. I’ve been to the likes of Jaipur and Agra. Never again, will be too soon for me. To make things worse, my journey doesn’t end at Lucknow. I travel 3 hours out to some twin city, called Faizabad. Don’t even ask. Apparently it’s just a 45 min distance but the road being what it is, takes 3 fuckin hours. Bliss. If there ever was an advertisement for mind-numbing drugs, this is it. The only upshot to it is I might get some good photographs out there. If my camera isn’t stolen, that is.